04: Negotiations

I'm going to need an answer soon; your time is almost up. Before you decide, I have to warn you--you won't stand a chance. The last time any of you tried this stunt, they lasted about two hours...and they had twice the army you do.

Did you really not know? This happens every thirty years or so. One of you gets the bright idea in their head that they're going to rule the world. So they talk the rest of you into it, and you come into the city, ready to demand a crown and a throne...and all you find is us.

The first couple of times, we just slaughtered you all, but after that we got smart. Started taking prisoners...started coming up with new ways to fight you. As for how we tested them...well, let's just say you're not covered by the Geneva Convention.

Don't believe me? You look back at human history. Give us an enemy, and there are no lengths to which we will not go to destroy that enemy. We'll justify it however we can; maybe we had to protect ourselves, or our resources...hell, maybe they just had something we wanted. Really though...when it comes to inhumanity, we are the undisputed champions. And that's what we do to each other. You pose an actual threat; just think about what we'll do to you.

Or...you could wait a few minutes, and find out firsthand.

See those snipers on the rooftops? They're not carrying rifles--those are high-intensity spotlights. They've got the brightness of sunlight times ten, pointed right at your heads. All our soldiers are equipped with stakes and firebombs. Every fire truck, hose, and hydrant on this street has been blessed by the Archbishop. And while my garlic aftershave hasn't done my social life any favors, it's just the thing for keeping you away.

If you give up now, you'll be incarcerated...but trust me, prison's the best option for you. The boys in lab coats have a few ideas they're dying to test out, and some of 'em even turn my stomach.

This is your last warning. Either you and your mob surrender peacefully...or I swear to God, we will show you who the monsters are.