Emmett Blankenship walked into the lab,
doing his best not to step into the fresh oil puddles. He couldn't
see anyone else, but he knew his client was here somewhere, judging
by the symphonic blend of power tools and Enter the Wu-Tang (36
Chambers.)
“Danny? Are you in here?”
“That's Doctor Loomis to you!” a
voice shouted, from somewhere above.
Emmett looked up at a tangle of wires
and pistons, but couldn't see anyone. “I apologize. Doctor Loomis,
may I speak with you for a moment?”
“Just a moment, I'm almost—ah!
There.” A young man suddenly dropped into Blankenship's view,
hanging upside down and secured by a harness. His face and clothes
were covered in grease and the occasional burn mark.
“What are you working on, Doctor?”
“This? Fifty-foot-tall robot.”
“I see that. Any reason why it looks
like Henry Kissinger?”
Doctor Loomis shrugged. “Not really
sure. It just kind of...happened.”
“And what is the purpose of this
robot?”
“Rampaging. That's generally what
giant robots are for.”
“I trust this rampage will entail a
lot of property damage, widespread panic, and people getting hurt?”
“I hope so. It'd be a poor rampage if
it didn't.”
Emmett shook his head. “Now,
Danforth...what do we say about people getting hurt?”
“That it's a small price to pay in
the name of scientific advancement?”
“No, Doctor Loomis. That's what you
say. Try again.”
The doctor thought a while. “That
it's...bad?” He seemed unsure of his answer, as if there was no way
it could possibly be right.
“That's correct. People getting hurt
is bad.”
“I still don't understand how you get
to that conclusion.”
“For now, just know that as your
ethics advisor, I have final approval on your projects. If they don't
meet my standards, they won't get funding.”
Doctor Loomis folded his arms and tried
to look cross, which is difficult when you're upside-down. “You are
stifling my creativity.”
“I'm sorry about that, Doctor, but
those are the rules. You might want to think about modifying this
project. I would suggest something smaller, maybe give it some kind
of non-destructive function...and for the last time, no missiles.”
“No missiles?! You go too far, sir!”
In a fit of anger, Doctor Loomis reached into his lab coat and pulled
out a death ray. He aimed at Blankenship and fired...only instead of
fiery destruction, the only thing that came from the barrel was a
spray of brightly-colored candy.
“Apparently you've forgotten again
that we've replaced the power cell in your death ray with packages of
Professor Widmark's Silly Beans.” He picked a pink one out of his
hand and popped it in his mouth. “Mmm. Chocolate.”
No comments:
Post a Comment