05: Dszquphsbn (Cryptogram)

Jason West struggled against his bonds as the knife drew closer to his face. He let out an ear-splitting yell when the blade pierced his skin.

“Qmfbtf epo'u tdsfbn, Njtufs Xftu,” the other man said. “Uijt jt gps zpvs pxo hppe.” The garbled speech only terrified Jason even more.

“Please...please don't do this...” he whimpered. The other man ran his fingers through the blood pouring from just under Jason's eye.

“J dbo'u voefstuboe zpv, tjs. Zpv'mm ibwf up tqfbl npsf dmfbsmz.”

Jason blinked the tears out of his face, and got a better look at the man who was torturing him. Most of his clothes were black, except for his all-white mask. It covered his face entirely, and its only marking was a blood-red letter “B.”

“Zpv bsf jo uif xspoh psefs. Zpv offe up cf gjyfe. Cvu gjstu...”

The masked man slowly scrawled on the wall, stopping occasionally to gather more of Jason's blood. When he finished, it looked like a seemingly random assortment of letters: LFMMZ RVJOMPO.

“What...what is that?”

The torturer cocked his head, like he couldn't understand what Jason had said...but from the tone, he managed to pick up the meaning.

“Uif ofyu sfdjqjfou pg nz cmfttjoh...boe uif ofyu lfz up vompdljoh uif dpef...”

04: And Good Night (Lullaby)

“Your terms are acceptable. Bring the papers to the office tomorrow, and we can finalize. Yes...yes, good day.”

Helen Kruger hung up the phone, marking the end of another successful deal. Three new Kruger hotels would be built in this city alone by the end of next year, and the first Kruger east of the Rocky Mountains would be ready the year after that. Since she took over from her father, Kruger Hotels had become the fastest-growing chain in the industry. Still, Helen had never been one to linger on past successes. Mere moments after closing the last deal, she checked her calendar so that she could work on the next one.

It was then that Helen heard a low, soft whistle of three notes. “What?” she said aloud, and looked around...but didn't see anyone in the room. “Hmm. Ears are playing tricks on me.”

Moments later, she heard the same three notes again. The tune seemed very familiar, but Helen couldn't quite place it. She was having a hard time focusing in general, in fact. She knew she should take another look, but couldn't quite muster the energy.

“Can't afford distractions,” she muttered to herself, and sipped coffee from the plain blue mug on her desk.

The whistling started again—the same volume and tempo, but this time with different notes. Helen could remember hearing her grandmother sing it at nights, in the original German.

“Morgen früh, wenn Gott will...” she followed along, but she had to stop and yawn. Her eyelids felt very heavy...

Maybe I have been pushing myself too hard lately, she thought. She made a note to book a vacation next month—maybe a tour of Europe?--and turned back to her work.

The song started up again. Helen had even more trouble keeping her eyes open. “Maybe just a quick nap,” she said. “Something to recharge my batteries.”

As the song continued, Helen Kruger slowly nodded off. Within a few minutes, she was sleeping soundly at her desk...so she never saw the long-haired woman drop from the ceiling.

And she never felt the sword plunge into her back.

03: Burning Down the House (Blowtorch)

Punchline caught the faintest glimpse of a closing door, and charged at it. He pushed it open, then skidded to a halt in a poorly-lit, mostly empty room. All he could hear was the sound of labored breathing.

He aimed his pistol at the darkness. “Give yourself up, Barkley. I know it was you that set those fires.”

“Looks like you've got me, 'hero.' But what are you going to do about...this?”

Punchline saw a spark in the air, and barely had time to roll away from the huge gout of flame that followed. He fired his pistol at the area where the flame had come from, but didn't hit anything.

I need to take this guy out in a hurry, Punchline thought. But I didn't see any kind of weapon on this guy; how's he doing this? Another jet of flame pierced the darkness, starting a smaller fire on the wall just behind Punchline.

“Ahh! You suck!”

“No...” Barkley replied. “But you're getting warmer.”

“Leave the jokes to me, Barkley!”

The fire provided just enough light that Punchline could see his opponent a few feet away. Barkley smiled and took a deep breath.

“You're not going to sing, are you?”

Barkley pursed his lips, like he was whistling, but no sound came out—just his breath, in a steady stream. As Barkley lifted his right hand up to his mouth, Punchline noticed something strange about the man's glove. There were pads sewn into the middle finger and thumb; what they were made of, Punchline wasn't sure.

He found out the moment Barkley snapped his fingers: flint and steel. A spark flew off Barkley's glove, and the air he had just exhaled suddenly burst into flames.

Punchline had another narrow escape, though his left arm was heavily singed. “I've heard of bad breath, but this is ridiculous!”

02: Patch Notes (Professor Reventlov)

Five minutes into the lecture, a student slinked into the back of the hall. He quickly found his friends and sat down by them.

“Dude!” one of them whispered. “Where have you been?”

“Needed a way to get out of this test,” the latecomer replied. “I had this guy for physics my freshman year; this'll be a piece of cake.” He opened his bag and started fishing something out.

“It better be; I didn't get a chance to study.”

“Keep your pants on...just give me two minutes.”

Meanwhile, Professor Reventlov was working at the chalkboard, with no idea what the student had planned. “...if it acts on a state, whatever the state happens to be at time: t-equals zero...then it will give you psi at time: t.”

The late student stood up, ready to spring his plan into action. “Professor?” he asked.

“Yes?” The teacher turned away from the chalkboard to address the speaker...only to find one of the students holding up a large piece of construction paper, with the words “IGNORE THIS SIGN” written on it.

Professor Reventlov scowled. “Very funny, Mr. Parsons, but that particular flaw was addressed over the summer. Give me any paradox you like; you still have a test to take.”

01: A Fistful of Justice (The Cowboy)

Bravos nearly jumped out of his shoes with excitement. Tonight was the night he officially joined the Coolidge Street Wolves. His two fellow gang members had spotted some likely targets—a young couple, walking the wrong street at the wrong time. Maybe they'd have a little money on them; maybe not. The Wolves weren't picky.

Bravos stepped out of the alley and pointed a gun at the victims. As he did so, the other Wolves sneaked around behind them, cutting off any escape. “Hand over your wallets. And the rings,” Bravos said.

The couple were paralyzed with fear, so Bravos pulled the hammer back on the gun. The young man stepped in front. “We'll do what you say. Just don't hurt us.” He quickly took his wallet out of his back pocket and set it on the ground.

Not that it mattered. There was a reason Bravos had the gun. He took careful aim a the young woman's head.

“We gave you what you want!” she shouted. “Please, just let us go!”

“Quit cryin',” the hoodlum said, squeezing the trigger. “Die like a--”

He never finished his sentence—or his initiation—as he was cut off by the sudden appearance of a loop of rope around his midsection. “What the--”

Suddenly he was yanked through the air, landing against a brick wall hard enough to leave a dent. His cohorts turned, only to find another man charging at them. He was a wall of muscle in a t-shirt and jeans, his face obscured by a white Stetson and a red bandana.

The second thug had barely drawn his gun when he was leveled by a massive clothesline. The third criminal swung her baseball bat at the stranger. The weapon slammed into the man's shoulder, but all it did was make him turn around and look annoyed.

“Shouldn't oughtta done that,” he said, before grabbing her shirt and throwing her across the street, on where she landed on top of her partner in crime.

The mysterious stranger grabbed the thug at his feet and dragged him over to the others. He quickly tied them all together, using the rope still wrapped around the first one. Once the criminals were secured, he gave a sharp whistle, and a nearby motor roared to life.

The man in the hat nodded at the couple. “Y'all get home safe now. Make sure to tell the police what these punks did.”

Just then, a motorcycle raced around the corner...seemingly by itself. The stranger whistled again, and it came to a stop in front of him. He hopped on, tipped his hat at the young couple, and rode off into the night.

Those two people weren't sure what to tell the police, or the press, at first. Over the years, they told the story a thousand times or more. They were the first...the first victims rescued, the first witnesses to a new dawn of heroism, and the first to ask...

“Who was that masked man?”

Book List: November/December 2014

17. American Gods by Neil Gaiman
18. Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

Prior to these, the only Gaiman I'd really read were one Sandman story and Good Omens, which he co-wrote with Terry Pratchett. Between those and the high praise I'd heard from others, I knew I was in for some good reading.

And boy, was I. There is so much going on in these books, and all of it great--comedy, darkness, folklore, and just generally kick-ass writing. I doubt there's anything I could say that you haven't already heard about Gaiman...unless nobody has told you to read him. In which case, do that. I don't know if I'd put him as high on the "READ NOW" list as Bradbury, but he's on there.

This was the last of three B&N hardcovers I got for my birthday last year. Now I just have to read the ones I picked up for my birthday this year.


19. The Disappearing Spoon by Sam Kean

"Here's a book of stories about various elements and the periodic table!" I know, you're excited too. It actually was pretty interesting, as many elements have interesting histories, both in their discovery and the things they were used for. (South Dakota's own!) Sam Kean does a good job of taking these stories and making them fun to read.

After finishing this, I was only down to one more book that my sister gave me. I'm about a hundred pages or so into that one as of this writing.


20. The Time Machine by H.G. Wells
21. The Island of Doctor Moreau by H.G. Wells
22. The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells

Back to the B&N hardcovers! This one has seven Wells stories--two I was familiar with but had never read, two I hadn't read since middle school, and three I'd never heard of. I haven't made it very far into the book...not sure if it's not holding my interest, or I'm just not in a reading mood.

I was fairly familiar with The Time Machine, as I watched part of a movie version once. Turns out they added quite a bit to pad out the plot, because the story is really short. Still, it's a good sci-fi tale, and the epilogue has some sappy hopefulness that I enjoy.

Wasn't quite as enamored with the Island of Doctor Moreau. The premise is interesting, but there just doesn't seem to be a whole lot to it. I guess it's relying on the reader being horrified by Moreau's crimes against nature...but man, I've got the internet. I see a dozen more disturbing things before I finish my coffee. It probably helps to look at it in comparison to other pieces from the time.

The Invisible Man holds up better. It helps that, unlike the first two, it's mostly told as a standard written story rather than a flashback; the first two read like someone's long-winded story of their vacation to Fucking Crazyland. There is an extended "this is how it all happened to me" part, and things kind of slow down...but as Diana Rigg once said, "It's plot exposition; it has to go somewhere."

Book List: July-Oct 2014

15. Never Unprepared: The Complete Game Master's Guide to Session Prep by Phil Vecchione

My friend Steve told me about this one, as I'd been looking to run an RPG came/campaign for a while. A lot of it is just sort of general overview on how to be more prepared, but later in the book there's a few concrete details and methods on how to set up your game.

I did not use any of these, of course, and I think my players can attest to that. But in case I ever want to actually prepare, I know where to find information on that sort of thing.

16. River of Doubt by Candice Millard

One of my few forays into non-fiction, River of Doubt details Teddy Roosevelt's exploration of an uncharted river in the Amazon. It took me a while to get through it, as I got into one of my "not in the mood to read" moods for a while. When I was able to stay focused on it, I was treated to a fascinating struggle of man vs. nature, and often times man vs. man. Almost everything that could go wrong did, and yet somehow the majority of the expedition managed to survive (though not without cost, as the injuries and infections Roosevelt acquired led to his death a few years later.)

Some of the most interesting moments came when the book switched to the perspective of the Cinta Larga tribe, who inhabited the region. It was revealed later in the book that the expedition was such a momentous event that it became part of their oral history.

(This book was a Christmas gift from my aunt, who specializes in awesome Christmas gifts.)