The argument had going on for hours, and Ernie was beginning to lose his patience. "I'm not asking for the world here, Doctor. All I want is the knowledge that if I send you twenty guys, I'm going to get them all back--alive, all parts intact, and with their original genetic coding."
"That's preposterous!" Doctor Ernie-Forgot-His-Name-Already shouted. "What am I supposed to use for experimental subjects?"
"Put an ad on Craigslist, like any other self-respecting mad scientist," Ernie snapped back. "Or yourself; I don't give a damn. Just don't use my guys." He scratched the scar that cut across his nose. It hurt, but he was still proud of that scar. That was the fight where he landed three solid shots on the Cowboy--a record that, unlike his nose, would never be broken. "Now, about the safety regulations..."
"Safety regulations?" the other man yelled incredulously. "How much safety can one expect around open lava pits?"
"Don't give me that crap; we've been through this four times already. Guard rails, oxygen monitors, non-skid surfaces...the works. If one person gets so much as a scratch that wasn't put on them by a licensed hero, you'll be lucky to get a job as a mad janitor after I'm done with you."
The doctor snarled and screamed, "I've had enough of your impudence, fool!" and reached into his lab coat. Before he could grab whatever was in there, Ernie grabbed his arm and pinned it against the table. An outlandish device, unseen outside of comic books and steampunk photoshoots, clattered to the floor. Ernie scowled, grabbed the other man by his shirt, and pulled him in close.
"Listen, pal. I've lost count of how many people I've henched for--I was in the Red Trenches, for Christ's sake--so don't go waving your death ray around and expect me to be impressed. You either sign this contract, or you can run your goddamn volcano lair by yourself. Understand?"
He roughly tossed the scientist back into his chair, which nearly tipped over. Once he had settled, the mad doctor was clearly enraged...but he picked up the pen. "This isn't finished, Mr. Lackey. You'll pay for that."
"Yeah, yeah," the union leader replied. "Make sure to initial every page."
Back in his henchmen days, Ernie got beat up a lot. But when the union formed three years ago, he hung up his themed costume and put on a suit.
He hadn't lost a fight since.
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